To Those With Small Children

Dear Parent,

Please take your screaming kids out of the restaurant/store/church services before I grab you, the parent, and kick you out myself.  While we both belong in these premises, you are disturbing everyone around you with your kids.  If you are in Wally World and your kid is screaming that he needs to use the bathroom, take him.  No one is going to steal your cart unless you have ice cream in it.  It takes a few seconds out of your time and then you can finish up shopping.

Believe me, I get having a screaming kid.  I had 3 kids under 3 and it's hard being in public places when they are that young.  I know it's hard not to feel embarrassed while walking out with your kid but we are secretly applauding your parental duty and will respect you for it.  Don't be afraid to discipline your child in public.   My toddler kids knew that if they acted up we went out to the car and went home.  It only takes about 3 times and it's never a problem.  Even now my kids who are now teenagers know they will sit in the car while the rest of us eat or finish up in a store.

Kids belong in public places.  They need to go to a nice restaurant and enjoy the food.  They need to go grocery shopping or go to church.  I've had parents tell me they never go out because they don't want their kids to annoy people.  Kids love public places.  Please teach them how to behave in one.

No.  My kids aren't perfect and neither am I.  If you've been in a store with me, I'm sure I've annoyed you at some point.  I have a sulky 14-year-old son who thinks everyone is picking on him and takes great delight in being a pain in the store by annoying his sisters.  I have a 13 year-old-daughter who encourages it as she makes a bigger deal out of it than it really is.  My 11 year-old-daughter just sits back and stays out of the way since she's the "good" kid.  Her teenage moments will come in a year or so.  

I only post this because every day this week I've had to hear your screaming kids everywhere I go and I have a migraine because of it.  I just want to eat in peace.  I want to go grocery shopping in peace or spend a Sunday morning enjoying the services in peace.  I'd MUCH rather hear your child giggling and talking about their day in pure childish fun.

I like kids.  It hurts every day that I can no longer have more after my youngest for medical problems.  Seizures and seizure meds cause major issues while pregnant and the same with bipolar meds.   I get envious of your kids despite having 3 of my own because of it.  Being told at 21-22 to never have kids was one of the hardest days of my life.  I'm 34 now and my heart will always ache for the children I can never have.  Enjoy your kids.  They grow up so fast.  It's hard to believe mine are teenagers.

BTW if your kids call me a nasty name that I would have had my mouth washed out with soap as a kid, I will personally buy you two bars.  One for you and one for you kid.

I feel much better now.