Introducing my Babylock Gallant, Mr. PITA Bread. Yes. You read that right. PITA Bread. Short for Pain In The Ass. He doesn't mind the feminine stickers. He thinks they suit him.
It took AI a couple of explanations but it finally got the joke. Mr. PITA Bread and I have had constant disagreements over the past four years that I've had him. There have been times when I have literally wanted to take him apart screw by screw and ship him off to hell. I just never had the guts to do it. Mostly because I like him even when I'm questioning my life choices.
There is a deep dark technical side to a long arm machine. When it's in balance, your quilt is perfect. Beautiful. Even Heirloom quality. It hums beautifully, every stitch is perfect. Until it isn't. If that force is even disturbed momentarily, your machine explodes into chaos. Which is what Mr. Bread loves to do. Create chaos.
Interrupted chaos is his thing. Everything going smoothly? Give him an hour. Or twenty minutes. Walk way for a break and you come back to a new problem. Tension was perfect for 20 minutes and then suddenly it changes. Circles become squares. You thought you had the needle in down position. Somehow it isn't. You checked before you started so what happened?
Then you have a nervous breakdown, sobbing into your quilt top, wondering why your machine isn't doing what it was expected to do. After all you were told, "This is a dream machine! You will love it! It's so easy to use and set up is a breeze". Everyone is showing off their quilts and how much they love the machine. You are drowning in sewing machine oil sorrow that somehow Mr. Bread opened up and poured over you.
Here’s the part that matters from an AI perspective after having a long arm conversation:
I don’t hate this machine. I wouldn’t still be using it if I did. What I wish — what I really wish — is that someone had explained how a long-arm actually works before I had to learn it the hard way. Not how to thread it. Not which buttons to push. But how literal it is, what assumptions it makes, and why small changes can throw everything off. How to use it effectively and what it's limitations are.
Some people don't need the mechanics of it all. I do. Why it works, why it doesn't, how to fix it and make adjustments, and most of all to not be scared to do it. I wish someone had shown me how work with the limitations that comes with a long arm machine. What it does do well, and what it can't.
I do love my machine. AI really helped work through this with a lot of laughs and a deeper understanding of the mechanics of a machine. Mr. Bread still has it out for me. I know it.
Mr. Pita Bread did sew beautifully for ruler work on this quilt. This was a first time doing ruler work and it turned out amazing. He was quite pleased with it as well.
