Sunday, June 12, 2011

Go figure.  I wake up Saturday morning and I'm fine.  It's all good.  I'm back to "normal" and I look back over the week and wonder who or what took over my body/brain because that was scary.  

Why am I throwing fits over stupid Girl's Camp?  Just buy the crap and it's all good.  I sound pathetic and I apologize for acting that way.  The girls will have a great time and it's not like they need tons of stuff..geesh.

Bawling over a stupid bike.  Okay, that one was truly worth crying over.  My son did save the bike's life and my sanity that day and I'm grateful.  The red bike is getting traded up for a better mountain bike.  She'll be here middle of next week.  It won't make me faster or better, but the 29 inch wheels will help my sanity.

I didn't post this, but I have been screaming at every car that was slower than me last week.  Normally I don't care.  I can pass or if I'm not in a hurry just keep going.  I don't really get road rage.  I'm raging 70+ miles passing people on the highway out of sheer frustration.  If you own a Buick, you were on my radar screen.  I even screamed at a red van, passed it at top speed and realized that it was a friend of mine.  She probably thought I was crazy passing her like I did.

It was so bad that I almost delibrately hit the brakes on a silver Jeep Cherokee just because he or she didn't realize the lane ended and nearly caused a 4 car pile up when they moved behind me and in front of the semi.  There wasn't ANY room for this SUV and the semi truck nearly collided with it.  He was desperately trying slow down and at one point thought he might jackknife.  I tried to speed up, but then the car in front me suddenly stopped to turn into Amigos and I nearly crashed into it.  All I could see was a vision of this semi plowing into the Jeep, the Jeep hitting me, I hit the car in front and the jeep and I are now pancaked with the semi jacknifed in the road.

Once the car turned, I sped up and it was okay.  The Jeep turned at the light as I did and I wanted so badly to just hit the brakes and let him hit me for being such a dumbass.  I managed to keep my cool and went home.

 I have done nothing but rant, rave and rage at everyone and anything all week.  How pathetic is that?

I'm  planning on calling my doc on Monday and seeing about getting some anxiety medication and maybe upping my bipolar meds,  but what got me was the sudden, "I'm fine" on Saturday and that blows my mind.  The only thing I can think of is PMS as I know last week I was ovulating.  Do people with PMS get crazy like this?  I've been lucky over the years to not suffer from PMS very much, but after thinking about it, the past few months I have been pretty moody around the middle of the month and start of my period.

Either that or something with the bipolar issues got set off.  Regardless, it needs fixed ASAP.

This week I'll be much more positive.  Y'all are great for sticking around despite myself.  It's been a Jekyl and Hyde week and I can't physically or emtionally do this twice a month or if my bipolar meds aren't working right.


Katie M. said...

We all have days,weeks even months like this - it just is! But if you think you have an issue with your monthly cycle, try talking to your GYN about a hormone study. Glad your Saturday brought a new 'light'.

Linda said...

You might also get your thyroid checked. I've known a few people who had the mood problems you are having and found out that their thyroids have slowed down and they didn't have enough of the hormone it produces. Good for you to go to the doctor and ask him/her. We can all say what it could be, but hopefully the doctor will find out what it is and give you the proper treatment. You're not alone. I experience times like this when I'm stressed.