Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Mania Sucks

It hit me yesterday that I am going through a manic phase.  If I am also excited about Christmas, something is really up.  Usually I want to crawl into bed and hibernate.

Damage done while manic:

*Bought a new fake Christmas tree.  Not because we needed one, because I wanted it.

*Bought ornanments for it..beautiful ones.

* A Droid phone.  Love it.

* A right hand diamond ring and new wedding band w/o hubby being there to help pick it out.  Feel bad about that one, but love the rings.

* A bluetooth thing for my car and a headset.  Truthfully; it's really helped when talking to my kids, but they aren't cheap.

* Clothing (I hate shopping for clothing)

* Several pairs of boots and tennis shoes

*Gasp..I want to do Black Friday.. *falls over in shock*

On the plus side I haven't:

*purchased a new iPod touch that will allow you to use Face Time

*purchased a video camera

*purchased a wireless mouse and keyboard and various other electronics that I managed to walk away from.

*tried to start up several quilt projects.  My back will protest and knowing that helps.

*and whatever else will come up during the next few days/weeks that I manage to walk away from.

In all seriousness, if you are bipolar like me, make a plan to keep yourself from doing stupid things this season.  You can do this w/o compromising yourself, your finances and your family.  

I'll need to hand over my debit card to DH today. Stay out of stores/sites that tempt me.  Put less gas in the car so I can't really get that far w/o thinking about it.  Really force myself to say, "I don't need it"."It's okay to walk away."  "Once you are over this, will you regret it?"

And, believe in yourself.  This disease sucks. While my back may really hurt, knowing my mind is constantly being attacked on a phsyical and mental level is the worst pain to deal with.  Meds help, but even that ravishes your body.  

Mania is not true happiness.  While I feel absolutely wonderful, on top of the world and feel like I can do anything, I know I will crash.  Reality will sink in and I'd like to make that transistion smoothly and w/o damaging my pocketbook.

Now to tell myself I'm not really able to do some serious cleaning because of my back.    


Linda said...

I suppose if you go over your budget you could always return some items. One really good thing is that you recognize what is going on. I'm sure that helps in the long run. Enjoy your new tree and ornaments. I need to do that every once in a while too!

Jay said...

I read your blog, because you put this out there. I am a bi-polar person as well, and like you I can sense my mania periods coming on by lack of sleep, which, it always happens in November to January, sometime in there anyhow. I just got over a bad bout of mania, and what did I do? I bought airline tickets, flew to NYC, and forgot to let work know. Luckily, I do a great job at work, and my boss understands completely, she suffers from the same thing. Lets hope you get over it quickly.

onlymehere said...

Arter surgery one year in October I got on the computer while still on Percocet (very bad idea). I had the debit card and purchased so much stuff, mainly Christmas decor. The packages just kept coming. Unluckily I ordered from a catalog with a "no return" policy. I really messed up our finances using my debit card but the scariest thing was in not knowing how much more I'd purchased and what was going to arrive next! Fortunately our bank worked with us to get our checking account back in the black (those were the good old days of personal attention at the banks). My kids still tease me about it but I have to tell you that it was the worst feeling in the world for me to have done that. I guess what I'm trying to say is bz of that experience I can understand a little bit of what you go through after an episode that includes buying. May God bless you as you struggle to overcome this. Your heart seems to be definitely in the right place.