Monday, December 14, 2009

Thinking About School

Now I remember why I haven't finished college.

It's overpriced, leaves you with indebted for life and still leaves you underexperienced for a job. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Frerichs. We want 4-6 years of experience with that degree only to pay you 10 bucks an hour."

Why do I bring this up? I was going through the International Quilt Study Center & Museum's website and thought it would be cool to do some seminars or something like that. I had actually downloaded some podcast and a video earlier and loved them and was trying to to find the page again. I found myself drooling at some of the classes being offered. The catch? You have to be far more educated than I am at the moment.

Why not look into going back to school? You aren't stupid. You did high school and college at the same time your senior year of high school. You took hard classes and still did good. You got a B out of an architecture course that started out with 50 and by the end was down to 12 of us. Not bad for being 17. You took 2 courses of Arabic and an English course as well. You even held down jobs while doing this. failed Basic Algebra but only because your TA couldn't speak any English. Your Geography TA couldn't either do much better. You got a A on your Basic Engineering Drawing class though.

I go online to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln site and find myself overwhelmed with useless crap. All I want is the basic information and I shouldn't have dig for it on the first page. Finally find it and sort of get all the fees but it doesn't tell me anything else. I'm sure I'm supposed to talk with an Advisor who will eventually screw up my courses and "plan my future". Nor did I find much about what is offered online. Guess I need to wait until it's closer to summer? Maybe online classes are a joke and same with all of this education crap.

Okay. I admit it. I'm petrified of school. 13 years ago my entire life crashed in front of me when I was diagnosed with epilepsy and a few months later with bipolar and I'm still picking up the pieces. I was manic during high school/college and that's how I pulled a lot of that off. I didn't need sleep for days. I could do 3 jobs, go to school and do all the homework. I was high on manic episodes. I'd crash, but never long enough for it to matter.

Now the bipolar does matter and that's the scary part. Medications help but dull everything. My memory is awful because of it. The same flaws that boosted me years ago can easily send my spiraling downward into the ground and ruin everything. Manic episodes now are not good and neither is the depression. The thought of wasting money because I suddenly spiraled out of control and crashed into the ground is terribly frightening.

At the same time, it's so frustrating having a great mind and feeling like you don't really get to use it. I know I can't do school full-time. I'm not even sure part-time without causing some bipolar issues to rear it's ugly head.

And I don't do "revenue creation" courses.

2 comments: said...


the Open university is a remote learning organisation that is very well respected in the UK. However people from other countries can take courses as well.
It might be worth exploring as working from home may be less stressful and it has a lot of flexibilty.


Anonymous said...

You can always take one class and see how it goes. And they have all sorts of support networks in place at most universities for 1. non-traditional students and 2. People who have disabilities of any sort (not that I think you have disabilities, but it might help to be able to reach out to someone if you DO start to struggle).